Lies.

I wrote this too myself a week ago...

 

Lying to myself is too easy. 

I don't even catch myself anymore.

 I've been lying to myself and now I'm just numb. 

The ice cold words that I've been telling you have numbed these lips. The ice slowly formed up into my head. then creeped down my back and down to my toes to the point where I feel. nothing. My hearts been desperately beating, working overtime to save me from this blizzard inside. 

Sorry to pull out a frozen reference. But basically I feel like elsa and ana at the same time. Ana being covered in ice from head to toe, and elsa not being able to control it and accidentally hurting people in the process. 

Too bad my life isn't a disney story. 

Cause love is just making it worse. 

First I was blind. Then I was arrogant. Desperate. Then strait up wrong. 

You know when ice cream melts and then refreezes? Well over and over again I feel like "love" is thawing me. The thrill of melting and feeling just for a moment is almost worth it. But then I just get thrown into the blizzard. Then I burn. 

I thought numb was bad. Now I'm beyond numb. I feel like a million tiny frozen ice crystals are stabbing me every time I move. The pain is insane.

I can now make one correction. The pain WAS insane.

Then you came back. 

Just so you know. Posting this is scary. But I am who I am. 

-LV